Let’s use this as an opportunity to look back on the illustrious career of Flo Rida because there’s only one Flo and one Rida.
First of all, here’s the new song. Also Flo hasn’t exactly been Flo.D Salinger, he’s released a few songs this year. It’s a Mr. Worldwide track featuring Flo:
People are going to say “Dude, did you just use this blog as an excuse to talk about the Flo Rida show you went to, the one with your friend Eugene that you always talk about but I don’t know if he’s real?” So anyway let me tell you about this Flo Rida show I went to with my friend Eugene who is a real person. We were in the third row. Flo Rida brought out an extremely high profile guest:
You guessed it:
Who unexpectedly had the whole crowd say “Yeah boi” with him in a unifying moment unlike anything anyone in the crowd had every experienced. It was so pure and well-intentioned that it could have single-handedly created world peace if it had been nationally televised. Flo was taking straight pulls off of a bottle of Patron the whole show, pretty positive he and his boys polished that thing off by the end. At one point during Wild Ones (which is an all time banger and lock for best of the decade) grown ass man Flo Rida (6’3, 200 lb) got on another grown ass man’s shoulders and had him sprint through the entire crowd, out of the venue, and back around the other side, on the way high fiving Eugene who is a real person. You think I’m making this shit up?
NOTE: There was unfortunately no way to change this thumbnail^
After Flo Rida completed his final song he poured an entire bottle of Dom Perignon over his head, have to imagine none of it went into his mouth. That’s just the kind of guy Flo Rida is, here for a good time and to spread positive party vibes to all of the world. I love me some Flo Rida. Anyways, without further ado here are my definitive top 5 Flo Rida songs in order:
5. ‘Club Can’t Handle Me (feat. David Guetta)’
In this track Flo helped a no name DJ named David Guetta become an international superstar. Flo discovered David Guetta when he was doing overseas charity work in France, and the next thing Guetta knew he was the next big thing and notch on the Flo Family Tree (which is constructed of taped together Natty Ice cans like a wizard staff).
4. ‘My House’
Flo was always a fan of comedy, so he decided to do something about it and wrote a song that could be easily adapted into a studio movie. They wanted to have Leo, Cruise, and Nicholson star in it but Flo said hell Fl-no to the Oscar route, this movie needed to be a banger. So he picked a wide-eyed kid off the street named Will Ferrell and paired him with up-and-comer Amy Poehler (Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, Undeclared) and made the hit comedy Flo Rida’s House, which was later renamed to The House, and the rest is history. Elf, Stepbrothers, Old School. Parks and Recreation, Mean Girls, Broad City. All thanks to one shredded patron of the arts.
I know what you’re thinking I’m going to tell you, that Flo Rida invented whistling. Well this isn’t a f*cking joke.
I know what you’re thinking I’m going to tell you, that Flo Rida invented whistling. Well this isn’t a f*cking joke. Whistling is a human right nobody invented it and the actual whistle was invented by Joseph Hudson, everyone knows that.
So I don’t actually know how this one affected US and world history but it’s a banger right? So it probably helped somehow.
2. ‘I Don’t Like It, I Love It (feat. Robin Thicke & Verdine White)’
If this song doesn’t make you happy then there might be something wrong with you. But, everyone is different. But if THIS doesn’t make you happy then I just don’t know what to tell you:
1. ‘Wild Ones (Feat. Sia)’
Pretty much a no brainer, this is one of the purest bangers I’ve ever heard. It’s up there with Levels for all time fist pump song. Also Eugene is real and Flo Rida high fived him. Tune in at the end of the month to see this song again, in our:
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