GET NAKED FEST

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You are cordially invited to throw some glitter on it and groove at “Get Naked Fest,” the first music festival where clothes are optional and guests are strictly prohibited. Location: your living room. Date: Today. Time: NOW, because I just dropped the hottest single of 2020: Me. Oh, and this Tame Impala track to kick off your festival experience:

F*ck saving the best for last, I like my festivals like I like my men: opening with a bang. *Crickets.* Tame Impala comes in hot with “Lost In Yesterday,” a synthy acid trip, best described by critics as an “eargasmic aphrodisiac”. *I am those critics.* Tame’s latest album is the drug-free high we need and deserve. Still feeling funky? Dance your way from the Couch Tent to the Coffee Table Stage, I hear there’s a dope new band playing sick tracks. Leggo.

If Tame Impala and Unknown Mortal Orchestra conceived, Temples would be their child. I can confirm: he’s a beautiful, talented lil thing. Temples shredsss! And speaking of being “on something,” smoke your legal ganja and let the vibes carry you to our next set, Matt Maeson:

Anybody else feeling feels because WOAH Matt’s stealing my heart with his soulful indie-funk. True story: Growing up, Matt wasn’t allowed to listen to rock on the radio. Now, Matt rocks in more ways than one, and if you love introspective lyrics, I suggest you listen to his new album “Bank On The Funeral”… I mean, stay for his entire set!

Wanna switch it up? Then run quickly to the Sofa Stage. Our next rising star, Olivia O’ Brien, is performing right now!

Olivia is the crass queen we need, deserve, and love. She’s as cool as she is catchy, and while her sound follows a somewhat generic “pop persona,” her powerhouse voice is soon to rise above label politics and sing its way into our hearts! And speaking of badass lady crooners…

Willow whipped her hair back and forth, then dropped this banger. Keep it on the DL, but a little birdie told me that she’s opening her setlist with “Wait a Minute!”. *It me.* Willow crosses genres better than I’ve ever crossed a man who’s wronged me. But enough about my intimacy issues, ya’ll need to hydrate. Let’s head out and hang a left towards the hydration station.

I have a confession: I mayyyyy have had a bitttt too much to drink at the Beer Garden. And by Beer Garden, I mean kitchen. And by kitchen, I definitely mean: I drank tequila. Because there WAS NO BEER I ONLY HAVE TEQUILA. Fortunately, I have some good news: It’s shot o’clock. So throw it back and groove along with electropop superstar Kid Francescoli.

Look who’s performing in the Bedside Tent: Tanya Morgan, an American hiphop group that you’ve likely never heard of. Good news: In two years, you’ll brag to all your friends that you saw Tanya Morgan LIVE before they blew up. Don’t need to thank me… But you’re welcome.

Let’s close this fest out with someone we know and love, a guaranteed good time, Empire Of The Sun! They’re playing on the Mattress Mainstage, so dance until you can’t more. Then plop on down and have yourself a nice sleep.

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