The God-Tier Pop Eargasms

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We all have our favorite pop eargasms. What makes an eargasm is not dextrous songwriting, complex verses or a skillful song structure. A song does not have to be envelope-pushing or exceptionally crafty to be addictive; I’m strictly talking about music that sounds so good it renders you speechless. We’re talking about sonic bliss. An ear full of ambrosia. Audible nectar.

When I listen to an eargasm, I get completely lost in the song. I’m not paying attention to the words, but rather how the words roll through an artist’s teeth and how their voice and the song’s production expand within my skull. My eyebrows furrow and I move my body because there’s no other way for me to express just how much I fucking love a good eargasm pop track. These kinds of songs force me to repeat over and over to whoever is in the room with me or whoever I’m texting, “This song is so fucking good!” And then three days later I send that same text to the same person because I forgot I had already done it.

But my brain is screaming at me to do more! Shove the song down everyone else’s throats!!! So I’m writing this post, a collection of pop music’s god-tier eargasms, my favorite catchy hook-y melodic bops, a group of superlatively satisfying anthems.

THIS IS NOT EXHAUSTIVE! Please enjoy it at your own discretion.

Find U Again – Mark Ronson ft. Camila Cabello

Camila has a racist past and I don’t care for her whatsoever on a personal level, but this track on Mark Ronson’s last album is absurd. It gets right down to business by leading the track with the chorus.

Changes – Lauv

Lauv is someone I might throw into the ‘bland radio pop’ bag if I didn’t hear this vulnerable gem of a song. While he might be hit-or-miss overall, something about the chords gives me chills, and he takes adversity and makes it refreshingly relatable without it coming off as cliche or gauche.

Delete Forever – Grimes

I don’t know if Grimes will ever top this track (though I want to think it’s possible). The stripped-down, acoustic route that she takes with this song, despite her extremely futuristic aura and penchant for cosmic, punchy production, was absolutely the right choice. Fucking gorgeous!

Sweet Spot – Kim Petras

Kim Petras churns out earworms at an alarming rate, and while I hate to put a song on here that Dr. L*ke touched, it’s never not in my head.

Treasure Island – Azealia Banks

The airy, bouncy production on this track and a head-in-the-clouds chorus are exceptional.

Greyson Chance’s cover of ‘Paparazzi’

14-year-old closeted me LIIIIVED for this rendition of ‘Paparazzi.’ If I’m ever drunk and in a YouTube spiral, I am sure to pull this up and sing along.

Cheating On You – Charlie Puth

I’m noticing that a lot of these tracks go STRAIGHT into ridiculous catchy production and this is no exception. The note Charlie hits and then holds in the bridge is EARGASMIC but the track as a whole hits my brain in a beautiful way.

Claws – Charli XCX

Thank god Charli made a quarantine album (I think she was the first major artist to do one fully in quar). This song is absolutely fucking hypnotic, the ‘juicy just like clementines’ verse (second verse) is absolutely everything, and Dylan Brady (of 100 gecs) nails the production.

…Ready For It? – Taylor Swift

The whole track is very fun and this has become my favorite Taylor album, but the pre-chorus… UNREALISTIC! My face melts off, it’s beautiful.

Break Free – Ariana Grande

Can you say ultimate maximalist Ariana Grande pop queen legendaric…. Zedd did not have to go this hard on the production and the bridge into final chorus makes me want to break through my apartment’s drywall.

Time Flies – Rico Nasty

I love when Rico is on her pop star game, this is so great and extremely amped up.

Immaterial – SOPHIE (Nicki Minaj ‘Anaconda’ mashup)

Okay so it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that SOPHIE and Nicki Minaj are an iconic hypothetical collab. Shoutout SoundCloud user chordio for this bonkers mashup that will make you want to EXPLODE with energy and power. Also the reimagined cover art is iconic.

Bottom Bitch – Doja Cat

Doja Cat with a 2000s alternative-sounding track that is extremely fucking satisfying to listen to. I was today-years-old when I learned she actually sampled a Blink-182 track, taking the guitar riff from ‘What’s My Age Again?’ and slowing it/transposing it down. Which makes a lot of sense and I should’ve just Googled it when I first heard the song and immediately thought “this is Blink-182 vibes!”

What are your fav pop eargasms??

1 comments on “The God-Tier Pop Eargasms”

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