Daw and George went to St. A’s and it’s all they ever talk about

4 comments

Imagine you’re a new parent, and you’re touring potential schools for your kid in Evanston Illinois. You look to your left and see a tall gangly 8th grader in a ‘Ride The Lightning’ Metallica shirt reading a Marvel “What If” comic book, he looks at you and loudly says “I drew 7 Ms on my strat for all of the members who have ever been in Metallica”. You look away as quickly as you can. You look to your right and see a middle stage Animorph in a TJ Maxx Jason Giambi Shirsey counting the five Twizzlers he’s holding, he turns to you and says “I rode my bike to school”. You turn away immediately. This was George and Daw, respectively, walking the halls of St. As.

George and Daw recently attacked me on the internet in these posts:

God-Tier Classic Rock Eargasms for CONNOISSEURS (With a Side of Beef)

Strangely Repressed Eargasms: Blessed Be Thou Who Don’t Talketh That Shit

They then then both proceeded to post lists of the best classic rock songs of all time. George posted 50 songs which were well curated, and are the embodiment of when you play ‘Start Me Up’ by The Rolling Stones at a party and your friend rolls their eyes. Daw posted a lazy 5 songs, literally ten times less than George, but at least his picks were recognizable (the guy who plays Start Me Up at the party).

I will say, this was true:

In any case, all was well until the last Indie Pong happy hour when Mates made a WEST TEXAS POWER MOVE, and staked claim to what he saw as he and Karl’s turf. In an earnest yet severe tone, he announced to the group. “you guys… ONLY write a, “God-tier,” article if you’ve REALLY got it, because that’s a strong statement.”

This is misworded but I did say this, if you’re going to use the term God-tier which Karl didn’t invent but did coin on the site, you better come swinging.

Me and Karl are both busy. We’re shouldering the entire pop universe in top of our broad swimmer’s shoulders. And again, you can’t just throw out “God-tier” after two drinks on a Summer Friday.

So I can’t call these God-tier but I will list all of the best classic rock songs of all time:

‘White Room’ – Cream
‘Lola’ – The Kinks
‘Purple Rain’ – Prince
‘American Woman’ – The Guess Who
‘Comfortably Numb’ – Pink Floyd
‘Shine On You Crazy Diamond (1-5) – Pink Floyd
‘Baba O’Reily’ – The Who
‘Won’t Get Fooled Again’ – The Who
‘Lovely Rita’ – The Beatl-

Yeah idk this is a lot to ask, this list would be me digging into the catacombs of my youth and extracting the nuggets, which I will do someday because I was challenged, but not today. And good luck getting Karl to do this, I’m pretty sure the only classic rock he’s ever heard was during Presidential Inaugurations.

im drunk at 3 am on the 4th of July and i love you fuckers. remember to  drink water and have fun. - GIF on Imgur

4 comments on “Daw and George went to St. A’s and it’s all they ever talk about”

  1. When you say the word ‘rock’ my brain goes numb. It’s like in Spongebob when all of his little mini Spongebobs in his brain are running around screaming, file cabinets ablaze.

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