So, I Witnessed a Murder

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So, I’m flying out of Chicago to LA to spend thanksgiving with the girlf and her family. I got to the airport three hours early because I’m a historically punctual and anxious person.


With my extra time, I did what any responsible traveler should. I paid a visit to my safe space: Terminal 3’s Chili’s Margarita Bar.


The world can be a scary and mean place (see Cassie unleashing her bevy of burner accounts on me). So, the slightly sticky embrace of an airport Chili’s booth was exactly what I needed to make things right.

Then out of NOWHERE. A murder most fowl.
Metaphorically of course.


The man sitting at the booth facing me was thumbing through his menu. Suddenly, he becomes a board, as excitement washes over his body. A Yelp, a slight shimmy of the shoulders. Pumping his fist, he whispers, “Heck yes! Breakfast tacos!!” We make eye contact. I give him a nod.


My boy, Ted, I assume, is about to have himself a great start to his day.
As Ted cranes his neck the doors to the kitchen slam against the wall. His eyes widen in anticipation of a pre-flight breakfast fiesta. Without warning, his features harden and a frown creases his lips.


“That’s not what I ordered” Teddy grumbles

“Ok” waitress

“I ordered tacos” T

“And this is aaaa (lowers glasses and sarcastically inspects the plate) two egg breakfast. Scrambled.” W

“Well… can I have my tacos?” T

“No.” W

“Okay” T (accepts defeat, sadly eats a two egg breakfast).


Poor Ted. That’s probably it for him. One can only assume he has flushed all of his personal items and has begun a working manifesto. Opening line, “The world is a two egged breakfast of shit and I must cleans it of its sins”


Anyways, let’s talk some music. I decided since it’s been a while I would give you a bit of LONG FORMAT oooo.


Album: “Everything” by Bnny


New music from one of my top two bunny themed Chicago indie bands! Yay for me!! Bnny released this full length album on Fire Talk records (Home of a few other Chicago bands, including Dehd) towards the end of August.

Bnny’s stuff tends to lean a bit slower and subdued, which is great. But at times I began to regard Bnny as a bit of a one trick pony. As a proud one trick pony myself, I did not think this is a bad thing. Consistency is important in life. However, the album Everything definitely shows that I’m a wrong asshole.

Some notable upbeat and up-pace songs from this album are: August, Promises, and Take That Back. I really like all these songs, but am slightly partial to Take That Back. It’s got a little edge and angst to it. It has that sharp guitar sound that reminds me a bit of Jason Balla’s pre-Dehd project, NeHi. It is decidedly different from most of the Bnny tracks I’ve heard coming into this. Fuck consistency let’s sow chaos.

Don’t worry, my friends with seasonal depression. There’s plenty of slow moody shit on here too. We can all be friends. Some of my favorites are: Ambulance, Not Even You, Blind, and Dreaming. If you’re great at something why change the formula. And, Bnny is the 3x regional champion in slowed down space cowboy ballads. Keep on keeping on, Bnny


Single: “Pain Without a Touch” by Sweeping Promises


This is Sweeping Promises first release since their debut album: Hunger for a Way Out. This album received some pretty high acclaim, considering the fact that Sweeping Promises weren’t able to tour at all during the pandemic.

This band is cool to me for a few reasons.

First, their whole first album was recorded on a single microphone and mixed in mono. This makes for a sound that I can legally describe as “artisanal”. I can feel my mustache slowly curl at the tips in hipster agreement. “Psh, other bands just don’t get it”. I mutter to myself as I polish leather that I tanned, because this is how you art, damnit.

A second reason they are cool to me is because they sound like robot world New Order. Which I am super in to.


This new single just builds great continuity with their first album. It’s upbeat, slightly new wave, with a synth breakdown lurking around the corner with bad intentions. If this song doesn’t make you want to dance then we can’t be friends because you’re uptight and boring. I just can’t be bringing that energy into 2022. Thanks.

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