My Vindictive Brother Removed Me From Our Spotify Family Plan

Yesterday on our Family Zoom call I made fun of my brother, and I wake up this morning and I am no longer on the family plan. My brother’s hair grows out like an afro even though we’re Japanese, and also because I don’t think he uses conditioner, so I said he looked like a member of the Jackson 5, and now I have Spotify Free. Life comes at you fast.

Peter has always been vindictive, probably because I was always better than him at sports, particularly Wiffle Ball. He used to strike out a lot and one time he quit because he said and I quote “I never win, what’s the point”, which clearly started a deep-seated resentment that would build over time. Apparently this Jackson 5 comment was the last straw for him. I could practically see the steam blowing out of his ears and he turned beet red.

Peter, if you’re out there, I’m sorry. Please add me back to the family plan.

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